Female Heartache

Throughout my life, there has been female attraction. The majority of that was women that I had known and loved for many years. They were my best friends, during different milestones of my chaotic world and wonderful things happened, but I rarely reciprocated. Usually, I was the toy and I loved that. 

This year, I found two. Didn’t see that coming during this poly adventure.

The Feels…

One is so young and I admire her very much. She knows exactly what she wants to do in life and is giddy about it! Adorable, smart, sexy, smiley and mischievous hotness. Our first impromptu night, we went to First St. rapids, skinny dipped and had a fabulous make out session under a full moon. It was… Yeah. Awesome. Many dates and flirting later, we danced and tossed each other against the walls while dancing, landed in bed and wrestled.  

One is my Poly Dom’s wife, although I see her as her own entity as well. I love watching her dance around the house. I’m so envious of the energy she has and I miss how I used to jump. Yes, we do struggle at times, but when we both let our walls down… It’s beautiful. The energy is amazing between us when we let it be.  It’s a different attraction. Sensual. Respectful. 

The not so great feels…

One, I knew was leaving within a few months of us meeting. She needs a different college for her classes and also needs to wander away from her home town. After the night we shared, things cratered and I didn’t hear from her much, but we’d hang out on occasion. I wasn’t invited to her going away party and that hurts. Especially when I heard about it through someone else. 

One knows all and the healing process has begun and will continue. We’re both sensitive now, but we’ll work through it because we are friends and that’s what we do. 

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