My best friend was also my partner for over 2 years. We recently tried dating again, but I’m too focused on what I need for myself to put energy into another relationship. So, he’s asked for a 6 week break from talking, other than emergencies. We’re on day 9. The last week has been rough. I always see something I want to share for a giggle or things will happen that I want to tell him about, but I can’t. I fight the urge to text or talk multiple times, every day. He’s my best friend and I’m learning how to live without him.
During the last week, I’ve had a lot of time to think. I came to the realization that I need to continue the “Year of Me” all the way through until the end. For the first time, I am willingly making a commitment to myself. I have no desire or plan to be in a committed relationship with anyone until after my next birthday in March. That doesn’t mean that I won’t date or that I’m going to change my dynamic with my Poly Dom. What it does mean is that there is zero pressure of looking for a S/O or trying to heal a broken relationship.
Right now, I don’t need or want either of those things. I’m gaining a whole new group of friends that have similar interests. I felt the most freedom to be me last Friday than I’ve felt in a long time. Mainly because I finally stopped judging myself and felt loved by everyone around me. I pranced around that Social in nothing more than a thong, garter belt and fishnets. Not an easy thing to do in front of 20ish people, but I did it and loved every moment. ❤